Maintaining good personal hygiene is vital for both health and cleanliness. How often people bathe varies—some prefer daily showers, others a few times per week. But for one reader, the issue runs deeper: her husband only showers once a week, and it’s causing growing concern in their marriage.
The reader shared her story in search of advice.
“My husband works five days a week but only showers on weekends. I’ve mentioned he starts to smell by midweek, but he just says he’s too tired after work.”
They’ve been married for about a year and a half. In the beginning, she didn’t think much of it. With opposing work schedules—she worked mornings, he worked nights—she rarely saw his routine. When she started working from home a few months later, she realized he only showered once a week. Still, he didn’t smell and changed clothes daily, so she let it slide at first.
However, over time, it began to bother her, especially at night. She tried dropping hints like suggesting a refreshing shower due to the weather, but he never responded. His idea of hygiene was washing his face each morning, and although she personally showered daily, she worried it would be rude to criticize his habits.
Things became more difficult when he switched to a physically demanding day job. He came home sweaty but still didn’t shower. “It grossed me out,” she admitted. But it wasn’t until she became pregnant that she finally confronted the issue directly.
“I told him I might be extra sensitive during pregnancy, but asked him to shower at least three times a week.” She emphasized the importance of hygiene for her own comfort and for the baby’s well-being. Surprisingly, he agreed. She was relieved and wished she’d spoken up sooner. During her pregnancy and after the baby’s birth, her husband was supportive and caring.
However, after things settled down, he returned to his old habit.
After long workdays, he would come home sweaty, change his clothes, and pick up their newborn without showering. “It made me cringe. I was worried about germs and bacteria that could harm the baby.”
It wasn’t just the shower frequency anymore—he began to develop noticeable body odor. “His hair was greasy, and even his one weekly shower couldn’t mask the sweat.” She finally confronted him one night. After expressing her long-held frustrations, she called him “gross” and “disgusting.” He seemed stunned, and she instantly regretted the harshness of her words.
Things became more difficult when he switched to a physically demanding day job. He came home sweaty but still didn’t shower. “It grossed me out,” she admitted. But it wasn’t until she became pregnant that she finally confronted the issue directly.
“I told him I might be extra sensitive during pregnancy, but asked him to shower at least three times a week.” She emphasized the importance of hygiene for her own comfort and for the baby’s well-being. Surprisingly, he agreed. She was relieved and wished she’d spoken up sooner. During her pregnancy and after the baby’s birth, her husband was supportive and caring.
However, after things settled down, he returned to his old habit.
After long workdays, he would come home sweaty, change his clothes, and pick up their newborn without showering. “It made me cringe. I was worried about germs and bacteria that could harm the baby.”
It wasn’t just the shower frequency anymore—he began to develop noticeable body odor. “His hair was greasy, and even his one weekly shower couldn’t mask the sweat.” She finally confronted him one night. After expressing her long-held frustrations, she called him “gross” and “disgusting.” He seemed stunned, and she instantly regretted the harshness of her words.
She now wonders, “Am I expecting too much?”